Crashing and burning

Because I like to highlight relationships gone bad, it's hard to ignore the train wreck that is the former marriage of the Gosselins. Holy unholy matrimony.

(Before this went bad, I was such a fan of the show. I watched it for the kids because they were so damn cute. I never really cared if Kate made fun of Jon or not. Sometimes a man needs to be bossed around. Just ask the BF! He's still around :))

Just when you thought they would proceed with a quiet divorce, Jon is giving interviews left and right to credible news sources such as the Insider and ET and Kate is crying that she's broke on the Today Show.

I have a few questions but my main question is: Where is Hailey at?

There are rumors she was getting her chest done but maybe she's actually watching the children or selling her story to US Weekly again. At least when she was around, I was interested in seeing what Jon was up to. Actually, it was more interesting to see what bad outfits she was wearing in public and all the sweet status updates she had on Facebook that other gossip sites would publish. Nothing says classy then a cig hanging out of your mouth rocking Ed Hardy.

Back to the recent bad interview. Enter Nancy Grace. Who in their right mind would counsel Jon to go against Nancy Grace!! Really? You aren't going to win against this crazy woman. She eats douches like you for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Have you seen how she treats other experts!? You would have a better option going up against Tyra Banks than Nancy Grace.

She even calls you out for your diamond earrings....errr.... but you correct her that they are CZ instead.

Want my two cents?

Stop giving interviews, watch your kids and get some really amazing legal representation because this is turning uglier faster than Lindsay blowing what's left of her earnings from the Parent Trap.

Oh, and bring back Hailey, K?

Poof! You aren't famous anymore

I wish I had a magic wand to wave in front of these idiots and take back their fame.

I vowed I wouldn't post about these nut jobs but I just can't help it. Image after image on all my favorite celebrity sites keep talking about these idiots. My favorite is anything written by Dlisted about Twit and Twat.

Unlike Alexa, I never watched anything of "Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here." I didn't really need to when I could just watch the ridiculous parts online or catch them on the weekend Soup.

I have pretty much reached my limit with them with Al Roker's interview yesterday. He put them in their place and I loved every minute because Heidi was squirming and Spencer acted like the ass that he is. Thank you for saying everything viewers think about them.

How long will it take to come out that they aren't really married? I don't believe they are legally married until someone shows me certificate.

Please tell me they have reached their 14 of 15 minutes because I'm about done with all of their scripted Hills drama. (I stopped watching after the first season.) I don't care what their future holds, if they get "divorced" and don't give the girl a perfume line because I'm sure that's in the works post Playboy.

And, MTV, if you are listening, please do not give these idiots their own show. It's bad enough we have to put up with The City, Bromance and Paris Hilton's BFF.

meow, meow

Let's just get something out of the way right away - throwing an animal isn't cool, Kenley. I loved your designs until you got cocky toward the end of your Project Runway time. I love a confident girl, don't get me wrong, but I despise when reality people start yelling at the judges.



I love cats. I once owned one named Captain Jack of Octopussy, but when I moved in wit the BF, I had to send him into retirement with my parents. He was such a cute little guy. He followed me around and I even taught him to fetch...tampons. He liked the plastic crinkling noise, so if you threw one, he was chasing after it.

In college, Captain Jack and his partner in crime, Hobbes, provided my 7 roommates and me with a ton of excitement and free comedy. The cats would try to escape on a weekly basis from our house and even climbed out on the third story through a hole in the screen. We only noticed after we had locked the house and were getting in the car. They tried running out the front door and even would disappear into the scariest basement you've ever seen in your life. Needless to say, they survived but now both cats live with our parents. (Notice a pattern?)

Anyway, if you are in a fight with your significant other, try not to launch a cat at the other person because PETA will be at your ass faster than you can say pussycat. Although, maybe she'll partner with Hello Kitty and design a line of cat clothing to make up for it.

Sidenote: If she would've in fact married the ex-fiance who she threw the cat at, her name would've been Kenley Penley. Maybe that's why she tossed the cat at him, I wouldn't want my names to rhyme either.

Bad relationship of the week

Oh, how I do love my reality shows! The Housewives season has always kept my attention because it's so hysterically funny and plastic. They are all about money, making money, keeping money or rubbing the money their friends don't have in their faces. Plus, those women are gossipy as hell, which always makes for great TV.

The latest OC Housewives introduced us to Gretchen. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you have to be married in order to be a housewife? Anyway, apparently little old Gretchen is having some issues in the love department.

Apparently her not-so-real-boyfriend that Tamra called out on the reunion special called 911 and claimed she was trying to commit suicide. Sounds serious until you listen to the call and find out these people have nothing better to do with their time then make fake 911 calls.

And, I have nothing better to do than DVR every episode and laugh hysterically!

Friday Fodder

For the past 24 hours, all I've been hearing about this story about a guy, a divorce and him wanting his donated kidney back. This morning on my drive in to work I couldn't stop laughing at Q104 and their take on the matter.

Apparently, this not-so-happy couple was having issues, the husband gave his wife a kidney, now she isn't letting him see his kids so he wants back his kidney or $1.5 million in compensation.

There a million things wrong with this couple.

1) You people are crazy.
2) You people are crazy and you have kids.
3) You people are crazy, you have kids and those kids have to live with you.
4) Dr. Batista, you will never reach the kind of crazy that Tricia Walsh-Smith woman has

Relationship gone bad

I can't believe I'm posting about this. I said I wouldn't. I don't want to be another blogger talking about this lame attempt at a relationship to stay relevant in the media.


But I can't ignore it.

Heidi and Spencer were married, or so Us Weekly wants us to believe.

I thought it was all for the show. I really didn't think they were dating, but that they recognized they could sell more magazine covers together versus being alone. In all reality, it would make sense if they kept up the faux relationship for their 15 minutes of fame that doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. Even casted friend Audrina is commenting now!

Think about it? They "break-up" and she gets a paid interview, they get "back together" and she gets another paid interview, then she gets "engaged" and another paid interview. What if you could make that off of an on-again-off-again relationship?

Personally, I'm pretty much done with reading Us Weekly. Why would I read "news" a week after it happens? I find all my gossip online at Perez Hilton, Dlisted and Hollywood Rag.

So, the saga continues that of a Hollywood lame relationship complete with another Us Weekly cover, which is probably in the works already - "Heidi and Spencer buy their first house."

Barf.

Friday Fodder

We don't care, we don't care and we don't care.

Thanks to People.com and my dumbass for reading it, I was informed of the truth of why Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift broke up. Apparently he took to his blog to inform fans of their break-up, and not with the fake reasons, but to explain the real reasons and the clear the air for the fans.

You know what? The cry me a river thing has been done much better before and his name was Justin Timberlake.

Girls don't live next door

The world's most celebrated Playboy is finally back on the market.

Girls, if you are looking for some 82-year-old balls, look no further than Mr. Hugh Hefner. He's back on the prowl for some brunettes now. I mean, who doesn't find a wrinkley old man who dresses in silk robes and slippers a hot commodity?

After recreating himself and keeping relevant with today's youth by opening a suite in the Palms and starring in a reality show, Hef and his girls are officially calling it quits. What? How! You mean, they aren't really all in love?!?

Holly says, "I got new boobs and a nose job. Plus, now I'm a household name. I think I put in enough years, don't you?"

Bridget says, "I fufilled a life long dream of gracing the pages of Playboy twice and crying more times than any other girl on camera."

Kendra says.... Well, she probably says something really stupid followed by a snort and another improper use of a word she doesn't quite understand.

Now E! has a time slot to fill with another highly anticipated reality show that no one really cares about but will waste valuable time watching. How about another season of Living Lohan? No wait. Don't do that to us.

Here are my votes -
"Paris - my new BFF x2" Because she needs to keep the focus off all the humanitarian work she's not doing since she was released from the slammer.

"Britney's search for a new assistant" Must be related, open to jumping into the ocean with underwear on while wearing huge glasses and pink wigs - at all times.

Who show should E! replace the Girls Next Door with?

P.S. Narm already told me that Hef supposedly is dating two 19-year-old twins who be soon be girlfriends. Narm is wishing he was Hef right now....

Duggar this

There's nothing like seeking advice from other people who matter to you. Friends, family, co-workers or stranger on the street. Hey- they matter, too! But would one really want to take relationship advice from these two?

According to their site, there is a section called "marriage tools" coming to help you through your tough times in your marriage or relationship. From where? You have been married 3 freaking days! What could you two possibly know?

Let's count how experienced you are in providing advice on relationships.
You are at the old age of 20.
You have been married for 3 days.
Um. I guess that's it.

Josh, you are barely out of puberty and probably never even uttered a good curse word in your life. Go ahead and say it, Josh.

Fuck. Shit. Balls. Say it again.

Your parents can't yell at you. You are a grown man. Start having sex like rabbits with your bride and create 21 kids. Beat out your parents' record and score more reality shows than Jon and Kate plus 8.

Tony No-go

Dear Jessica,

Didn't you learn the first time about talking about your relationships? We are all completely thrilled for you that you have found the love of your life in Tony Romo and even that you feel the need to share it with People.com. However, don't you remember how this played out last time? You had several TV shows, a singing career, clothing/hair/edible body lotions lines then your divorce hit, and your relationship was more exposed more than Britney's and Paris' privates put together. Do you really want your name splashed across E! News or CNN's ticker if this ends badly?

Take a note from Ms. Beyonce. Stop talking about it. Or, if you do, choose your words and interviews wisely.

Now, is that tuna or chicken again?

Your former and could be again fan,
Allison M.

Breaking up is hard to do

How can we be lovers if we can't be friends? That's Mike Bolton is thinking right now and wishing he didn't write that song either. After a long ass engagement to Desperate Housewife, Nicollette Sheridan, he's back on the market and prowl without all the hair. (Michael grow back the hair. It was the best part of your videos.)

Since she's probably a cougar at heart, she realized she needed to spread her cougarness with all the young pups in Hollywood. Next on her list - Justin Timberlake, Jesse McCartney or the kid from Hairspray. Look for wild clothing, heavy make-out sessions and run ins with the paparazzi on Robertson Blvd.

Rock on, Nicollette. And now, a moment of silence for the next 3:52 as I sing loudly to my favorite Michael Bolton song ever.

Keep it in the pants

Let me first start out by saying, Mr. Edwards, I thought you were intelligent. Really. But, like most other d-bags, you cheated on your wife - idiot! Hello - you are really famous. This stuff sells newspapers! Did you really not think it was going to get out?

From this article:
"I am responsible for it. I alone am responsible for it," Edwards said on ABC News "Nightline.

No shit, Enstein. No shit. Although I'm sure the chick with the badly bleached hair had something to do with it, too.

Well, what we have learned here. Let's try to do the opposite that politicians have done this past year and find another vice of sorts. Yes, Mr. Spitzer, that means you too.

What about hair twirling? That doesn't seem to hurt anyone or be controversial. Then again, Edwards does pay $400 for hair cuts, right?

Friday Fodder

OMG! This woman is amazing! Instead of retreating away from the limelight after she received $750K, she is charging right into it again with this little not-needed explanation! HA!

She is sick and tired of defending herself, y'all. She just is. And, she's goes after the born-again Christian (not fact checking that claim) Kathy Lee Gifford after remarks made about her yesterday on the Today Show.

And, she's going back to London! No! Tricia. Don't. Go.

The next bachelorette

It's our favorite trainwreck again- Tricia Walsh-Smith. A Manhattan judge granted her husband a divorce on the grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment with their pre-nup intact and her walking away with $750,000.

If you ask Tricia, she was basically thrown out on the streets because that's pocket change to her. But, more importantly, how is a YouTube video considered cruel and inhuman treatment? Really? Inhuman treatment? She didn't castrate him she just ranted on YouTube and more or less did herself in. Stupid and immature? Yes. Trying to squeeze more money out of an air-tight pre-nup? Yes. But cruel and inhuman? Sorry. Both are in the arts and like to keep things dramatic. The demise of their relationship was nothing but dramatic.


I vote Tricia to be the next Bachelorette!

Friday Fodder

OMG. Anyone, I repeat, anyone who dates this man in the future should just be laughed at, pointed at and even thrown a rotten tomato or two.

Not guilty? Seriously? He married Aaliyah at age 15 - doesn't that count right there!?

All I know is that I don't want to hear any remix to his ignition -- ever again!

Friday Fodder

My favorite scorned woman is back. She's going bonkers....literally. I just wasted 4 minutes of my life I'm never going to get back. However, I think the best part was when the crazy bitch started rocking out to a song called "Bonkers" at 3:40 in the video.


Hilfuckingarious.

Shame on you says the scorned woman

The bitch is back. Again. Only this time, it doesn't look like she's in the apartment that her husband is evicting her from. Apparently, putting skim in her husband's cappuccino is grounds for a divorce.


She's not done yet. She's going to continue to speak her truth with tarot cards apparently.

Bad relationship of the week

I've been thinking about this since the story broke last week. The bad relationship of the week is anyone and everyone in a polygamist relationship, especially if you are located in Texas.

What the F are you people thinking? I have a boat load of questions for these women and men in polygamous relationships because I'm completely fascinated by this lifestyle. I'm also very inquistive about the Amish lifestyle, too.
Why do you wear 1800s clothing?
Why do you wear your hair like that?
How long do you really think you will be able to live with 50+ people in one house when it's clearly illegal to have multiple wives?
How can you be surprised when the state takes away your kids for living a plural lifestyle? (I could kick the PR person who invented the term.)

You can't honestly think that you are in a healthy relationship. Right?

I have to say...I'm a huge fan of the show Big Love. I can't help it. I can't wait for the new season on HBO.

A woman scorned

While driving into work today, one of Cleveland's local radio stations, Q104, was talking about this video from YouTube. Her name is Tricia Walsh Smith who is getting divorced from her rich husband who is a prominent Broadway theater operator. All three DJs were sounding off about whether or not this is right, should you take the "high road" or is this OK behavior?

We've all been through our share of bad break-ups. I get it. We all do. Do we really need to broadcast it in this fashion? Really though? What is taking it to YouTube going to do other than garner you a couple million hits and solidify the fact that you are, in fact, a crazy soon-to-be-ex-wife? Plus, I really don't think your soon-to-be ex-husband is going to give you more money now that you've gone public. You signed a pre-nup, honey. That's kind of the whole point of signing a pre-nup -- you are only entitled to so much.

Watch for yourself. Would you do this?

Relationships gone bad

Anyone and everyone who lives with the ever graceful, Ms. Paris Hilton is a bad example of living together and a relationship all wrapped up into a ball. I'm not a fan of Paris. Never have been. She stands for absolutely nothing and has a whole army of young girls thinking it's OK to speak in a kiddy voice, twirl around and pouting your lips for the paparazzi to snap a picture of you. Not cute.

Remember this interview from Larry King? It's amazing what natural make-up, a flowery dress and low-key hair can make viewers believe. Great, great PR move for her, but she's done little capitalize on it or shape her image in a positive way. Instead, she's choosing to search for a new best friend with MTV's help. So much for helping those less fortunate in Africa.