Girls don't live next door

The world's most celebrated Playboy is finally back on the market.

Girls, if you are looking for some 82-year-old balls, look no further than Mr. Hugh Hefner. He's back on the prowl for some brunettes now. I mean, who doesn't find a wrinkley old man who dresses in silk robes and slippers a hot commodity?

After recreating himself and keeping relevant with today's youth by opening a suite in the Palms and starring in a reality show, Hef and his girls are officially calling it quits. What? How! You mean, they aren't really all in love?!?

Holly says, "I got new boobs and a nose job. Plus, now I'm a household name. I think I put in enough years, don't you?"

Bridget says, "I fufilled a life long dream of gracing the pages of Playboy twice and crying more times than any other girl on camera."

Kendra says.... Well, she probably says something really stupid followed by a snort and another improper use of a word she doesn't quite understand.

Now E! has a time slot to fill with another highly anticipated reality show that no one really cares about but will waste valuable time watching. How about another season of Living Lohan? No wait. Don't do that to us.

Here are my votes -
"Paris - my new BFF x2" Because she needs to keep the focus off all the humanitarian work she's not doing since she was released from the slammer.

"Britney's search for a new assistant" Must be related, open to jumping into the ocean with underwear on while wearing huge glasses and pink wigs - at all times.

Who show should E! replace the Girls Next Door with?

P.S. Narm already told me that Hef supposedly is dating two 19-year-old twins who be soon be girlfriends. Narm is wishing he was Hef right now....