April Fools Early

I'm not much of a practical joker.

Other than throwing cold water on the BF in the shower (only because he does the same thing to me), I don't really play jokes on him.

In anticipation of April Fool's, the BF and I decided to play a little joke on his family this past weekend. There have a been a lot of big announcements from his brothers with both of them getting married this year, so we thought we should pretend we got engaged. (FYI - we are not engaged.)

While driving, the BF thought it would be better if we told them I was knocked up instead of engaged.

"I don't think I'll be able to keep a straight face but it will be hilarious," he says after he shares his hilarious idea. But I can!

After being there for about 15 minutes, I said that the BF and I had something important to tell everyone and explained that I wasn't fat but rather we were pregnant.

Now, apparently  I was incredibly believable because jaws dropped, "OH MY GODs" were shrieked and even a few "You'vvvveee got to be kidding me's!"

If I pulled this one in front of my parents, they would've laughed at me and called bullshit early on. Although we've been dating for 4 and a half years, I'm pretty sure his family doesn't get my humor or are incredibly gullible.

His mom eventually calmed down, his dad finally heard what I said that caused everyone to laugh, and she came back into the room to only hear his future sister-in-law say "well, you could be pregnant and not know it," which caused me to give her the shut-the-hell-up sign.

I do believe I pulled off my first joke pretty damn well, don't you?

he's a comedian too

If you know the BF in real life, you know he's some kind of crazy character and if you only know him online, I'm sure you still think he's some kind of crazy character based on the stories I share.

He is always sharing random information that I wish he would just keep to himself. Like the time he told me he loved the movie Titanic, or how he can rap old school Notorious B.I.G. or sing along to Bell Biv Devoe.

Random thoughts from the BF:

While listening to rap music in the car, "Babe, I should've been an R&B artist. They'd call me Lil' Tweezy."

While watching making him watch the Mariah Carey takeover on Fuse, "you know, I had a mix CD with some Mariah on it. The ladies loovvvveed it."

On a random car ride, 50 Cent's "In Da Club" comes on and I say, "Oh, how this song reminds me of college" and I remember the hilarious times with my friends on College St. in Kent State. He adds, "This song reminds me of grinding on girls in the basement of Blind Pig."

I think he needs to be hosed off with disinfectant after that comment.

because everyone loves a good greeting card

In anticipation of Valentine's day, I leave with you a few hilarious cards. One for the men, one for the ladies, one for the single ladies and one to the BF.

What men wish for -


What girls might want -


For my single ladies -


A card I should probably give to the BF -

welcome to the dark side

Hell has frozen over.

The BF is getting an iPhone.

Yes, you read that right. The BF who joined Facebook in the last year (and won't think about Twitter) is the new owner of the shiny new Verizon iPhone.

Ha! Verizon, shmerizon.

After reading a Wired article regarding data usage on the new phone, I forwarded it over to the BF because it raises some concerns. From the article, "Verizon incidentally announced a plan for “data optimization” for all customers, which may degrade the appearance of videos streamed on smartphones, for example.

Verizon didn’t send out press releases to alert the public of this nationwide change regarding data throttling and so-called “optimization.” The only reason this news hit the wire was because a blogger noticed a PDF explaining the policy on Verizon’s website, which Verizon later confirmed was official. Obviously it’s bad news, so Verizon wanted to keep a lid on it."

I send him the link as a friendly FYI to him and his new toy.

His response:

"Blah blah blah...i doubt very much that I'll be in the top 5%...scratch that...the top 25% of data hogs nationwide.  You have to remember...I won't be using this device in nearly the same way you do."

My response:

Dear BF,

You will be when you understand how cool it is.

I want an iPad as well.

His response: 

Dear Allison -
I want...
- a new motorcycle
- a new shed in my back yard
- a new roof over our sweet new bed
- a new concrete driveway and walkway
- a new deck on the back of the house
- a new BIGGER TV
- a vacation to Turks & Caicos with topless room service

Thanks for playing.

My final response:

I want this nice little Louis Vuitton speedy in the Damier Azur Canvas (and have for the last three years) and since it's Valentine's day - you can put up the money right about now. Walk into Sak's and ask for Francisco - he's waiting for you.

Signed, 

Allison