Friday Fodder

The word "Daddy" by girls over the age of 7 makes my skin crawl.

eewwwwwwww. Blah. Gross. Sick.

Why on earth would a grown women ever use that word to refer to their father? It drives me crazy when you hear women use that word in a high-pitched voice and then pout their lips. Um. No. It's gross.

Have you ever seen Fool's Gold? (I'm not ashamed to admit I caught it while flipping through HBO.) The girl who plays the old guy's 16-year-old daughter constantly refers to him as "daddy." Now, she's on one of my favorite shows, Entourage, and I can think of is her in the movie Fool's Gold. I can't see her as Eric's new toy for the moment. Every Sunday night I picture her not as Eric's girlfriend, but the 16-year-old who called her dad "daddy" 45,343 times throughout the movie.

Other words that creep me out:

Panties - sick.
Moist - sick.
The P word - so sick.
Suck - yes, I hate that word. I hate that word used in any form. I hate it more when something doesn't go my way, I tell a friend and their response is "Oh, well that sucks."

What words, if any, creep you out?

Friday Fodder

My blog skills have been lacking this week. I'm not feeling as witty, funny or creative when it comes to sharing my loud opinion on this little blog. But, that's what friends are for!

Last night a group of us decided to hit up Sushi Rock for Tsunami night, which is something I forgot I loved going to. I don't think I've been in there in almost a year, but the calamari and I made up for lost time. It just so happened that another group of friends was going to be there later so after we finished 2 calamaris, a salad, edamame, and 7 rolls and three cocktails each, we slowly walked over to the bar to meet our other friends. (There was five us and we like to eat and drink if you can't tell.)

OK, on to my story. A friend was set up by another friend on a first date-sort-of-meeting if you will that night. The 6 of us hung out at the bar while she was chatting it up with this guy who I still think I know, but can't figure out how I know him.

Fast forward an hour and we've all moved to the lounge area, are sipping on pomegranate martinis and he's still chatting it up with my friend.

Because girls HAVE to go to the bathroom in groups, my friend Erin followed me. She knows I hate this but always does it.

Erin - "I don't know what to think of that guy."
Me - "What? Why? I think I know him and I'm not sure how."
Erin - "You think you know everyone and you don't."
Me - "I don't know everyone, I just have a good memory. I wonder where I know him from...."
Erin -"Well Danielle tried to hook me up with him years ago, I said no and now she's introducing him to Jamie."
Me- "So, what's your point? He seems nice and it's a first date sort of. It's harmless."

Erin- "He looks uncomfortable." Thinking hard, "Like he has to poop or something."

Random girl walks into the bathroom and starts laughing as she hears Erin say that.

Me - "Well, I'd be uncomfortable too if I had to meet a date for the first time with us there. Wouldn't you?"
Erin - "I don't know, but I still thinks he has to take a poop."

Penis Envy

Nothing like some good Penis talk on a Thursday.

On your lunch break today, take a minute to read this article from Kara Baskin. Here is an excerpt from the article:

"But, ladies, do you understand his penis?

Outwardly, the male body seems so simple, of course. Guys don’t have to worry about annoying things like periods. Their sexual organs dangle outside their bodies, arousal is easy to identify, and what you see seems to be what you get. But once you’ve dated enough, the plot starts to thicken. We all have our war stories: There’s the dreamy guy with the semen that tastes like turnips; the sweet Emo guy whose penis curves terrifyingly to the right when erect; and that burly football player who couldn’t get an erection at all. Untrimmed pubic hair; hairy balls; lopsided testicles. Each guy is a little weird in his own special way. And if he isn’t weird? Well, that’s weird too."

If you are in a relationship where the guy is great but his penis is malfunctioning, I think you should pick up her book "Size Matters" and take a lesson from the Good Sex Fairy herself, Kara Baskin. Or in my opinion, which Kara probably won't agree with me on, dump him. Have your fun, enjoy the rendevous while it's fabulous and then move on when it takes a dive into the dumps.

Dear Diary-- A girl and guy perspective

A friend sent me this forward sometime last week. Truth be told, I'm not a huge fan of forwards, especially ones that aren't funny or that get sent to me from the same people multiple times. (Check who the person before you forwarded too already!) Anyway, this particular forward made me laugh out loud because it's so, so freaking true about girls and how our crazy minds work.

HER DIARY:
Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say,'I love you too.' When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep. I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY:
I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid.