Friday Fodder

Being a porn star is the new black, skinny jeans and navy nail polish all wrapped into one beautiful package.

Case in point - Let's think of all the "celebrities" who landed their own reality shows because of their sex tapes. Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton? Kim even sat pretty in the front row at a few shows for Fashion Week. Hell, even Kim's partner, Ray J, has a deal with Vh1. What is wrong with America these days and when can I get my own show?

Not only are they inking TV deals and starring in movies, they are also entering our daily lives through cookbooks, clothes and scents for men and women. I'm telling ya, they are taking over the world and here are a few examples:


Porn Star Cookbook
Put more on your naked body than just sushi rolls for your lover

Heartbreaker perfume by Jenna Jameson
Smell, shower and lotion just like Jenna.

I think I'm only of million of straight girls who flocked to get her book when it was released a few years back. And, I'm pretty sure my roommates and I read several chapters out loud over and over again to each other. It was a coffee table fixture right next to "He's Just Not That Into You." She's gorgeous without all that make-up.

Happy weekending.

take back our love

Dear Enrique,

I'm sorry I was unable to make it to this video shoot this past weekend. I know, I know but I had to attend the Mom 2.0 Summit conference, hang out with awesome moms, eat cheeseburgers and wear a Burger King bag on my head.

Anyway, Ciara wasn't a horrible choice to replace me in our duet - I'll forgive you. But, just so you know, I would never throw your clothes or expensive artwork into the pool.

Maybe we'll catch up the next time I'm in L.A.

XOXO,
Allison

respect your elders

"Do I look like a frat boy?" asks the BF as we are leaving to go to dinner yesterday.

"I mean, maybe? Why are you asking? Let's go, I'm hungry," I say as I plug in my cell before it dies.

"But do you? Do I look like a frat boy?" he says, clearly not satisfied with my previous answer.

"Um, well you were part of that lame group, so yes, I guess you do look like a frat boy," I say, still wanting to leave the apartment because my stomach is growling. "Are you asking me because of the way you have that scarf tied?"

"No. Why? What's wrong with my scarf?" he says self-conscious of the scarf and his frat boy nature now.

"Nevermind," I mumble. "I'm listening."

"This little punk in the library called me 'frat boy' under his breath as he walked by. I don't think he realized that I was older than a frat boy, so I glared at him, slowly turning my head and gave him 'I can kick your ass' look," he says, very proud of himself.

"You were going to get into it with a pubescent teenager in the library?" I say laughing and picturing the BF glaring at this poor kid and his friend.

"Yes, I was going to get into it with him because he needs to respect his elders..... fuckin' punk."


And there you have it.

Friday Fodder

Some intelligent person once said "absence makes the heart grow fonder."

If that's true, the BF and I are growing all over the place. This is my third and final weekend (I think) that I'm traveling for work. Before, I was at the PBR hanging out with buckle bunnies and for the next two days, I'm in Houston for work for the Mom 2.0 Summit, meeting and greeting with fellow bloggers in 70 degree weather.

Kiss, Kiss BF and see you Saturday night.

Because everyone is doing it

Remember that old saying of...Don't shit where you eat? Hmm... ring a bell. Well, I'm guilty of doing that not once but indirectly twice in the work environment. The most recent time has worked out well because we were sly in the way we started our courtship. We weren't dramatic, over the top or called unnecessary attention to ourselves. For more rules, see this article from Marie Claire.

I was super protective about people finding out as well. If we were at a work function, we would arrive and leave separately, careful not to raise any eyebrows of my fellow coworkers. At one point, we had dinner arranged with his parents and the mutual location was the office where they were to pick us up at. I moved my car around to another building, parked and had them pick me up there. That part might've been a little over the top, but I didn't want to draw any negative attention to the situation.

In retrospect, people probably could tell what was going on between us, especially if they were dating coworkers, too. They knew the game because they played it. But in my mind, no one knew anything was going on and I continued to deny it when abruptly asked by a few females.

My typical response - "Me? Him? No way. I can see how you may think that, but it's untrue. We aren't dating."

And I think we kept the secret a good 7 months into our relationship when we both became more comfortable.

Lesson learned ladies - If you are going to court your coworkers, be sly about it, don't hang around his office like a lovesick kitten and be sure NOT to sleep with him in the actual office.

sugar sugar

I bought, I made and I baked. The only thing I forgot was pink dye and sprinkles. Dammit. I'll remember that for next time.

Bless you, ALDO

It seems that people generally like to complain when shitty things happen, not excluding me of course. For instance, I was pissed when my flight was delayed an hour from Houston to Cleveland yesterday and I also pissed when TSA took my coconut lime verbana body lotion, and, even more pissed when they chucked my Aveda brilliance hair cream. That stuff costs money.

Well, enough about complaining. You know what makes me happy? When I have an amazing customer service experience. Nothing makes me more happy than wanting to share customer service that may rival Nordstrom's right now - ALDO.

See, I've never really been a huge fan of ALDO because I think it's over priced and I can usually find better deals on Nine West or BCBG at Marshall's. However, when I was strolling through the mall and saw 50% off boot sale sign, I absolutely had to enter to see if I could score any great deals for my size 9.5-10 feet.

Editor's note: I refuse to pay full price for ANYTHING these days. Nope, won't do it. I want a sale on everything I buy.

Holy amazing deals and customer service from my new friend named Amanda. Not only did she keep showing me boots that would fit my oversized calves, but after 1.5 hours of debating between 3 pairs, she called 6 stores to track these down, ordered me this pair online and is having another pair delivered to the store this week.

I can truly appreciate someone who goes the extra distance knowing she doesn't make commission and when all is said and done, my total will only be around $160.

Now, let's hope they all fit and I'm also going to keep my eyes peeled for the black Tobie or Cassella boots to go on sale.