At the Ro k

"You smell like alcohol," says the BF when I got home last night.

Give me a break. I had only had two beers in a 4-hour span with these peeps at the Rock Bottom Brewery. Since Taawd is secretly a woman, he celebrates his birthday all week long...just like some of the girls (like me) do! The BF passed on the festivities to watch Transformers for the 300th time to see Megan Fox - should I be concerned? Probably not, but have you seen her on the cover of GQ?

Here's what I learned:

Taawd likes celebrating 36 way more than 35.
Alexa showed up from what sounded like a great party with a few co-workers, including Connie of the dum-dum challenge. (yes, that one!)
Narm won't french the waitress - no matter how much Alexa tries to bring back frenching.

"I'm going to bring frenching back," says Alexa. Watch out Clevelanders, here she comes.

Things my boyfriend's friends say

After watching the Browns game last night in a friend's basement, my BF's friend pointed out something to me.

"Girls have this way of naturally ruining everything." Everyone erupted into laughter.

Being that I was one of two girls present, he was referring to me because I was commenting on Polamalu's hair (he needs a hair tie) and if the players were or weren't good-looking. The final straw came when the cameras flashed to Michael Phelps. A kid I went to high school with was sitting next to him in the loge, which prompted my phone to ring a few times from friends.

According to Chris, this is when I started to ruin things.

Welcome to football season.

Love on TV Part 2

If you remember a few weeks ago, I shared about my BF's crush on Abby Ham. Through the power of the internet and help from Taawd, she read my post and sent an autographed picture his way within days. I couldn't contain my excitement, so I gave it to him right away. I was going to hold it hostage until his birthday in early October, but I couldn't wait that long.

Plus, he must've asked me every day after I posted, "Did you talk to her? What did she say? Do you really think she's going to send a picture?" W

hen I gave it to him, his face turned slightly red - I don't think he thought he was really going to receive a picture. Then, he walked the handwritten picture all over the office, explaining the picture and story to everyone who was aware of his crush.

He still does it even though he knows that Abby is well aware. Luckily she wasn't at all freaked out by him talking to the TV each freaking morning and has a great sense of humor.

Thanks again, Abby Ham, and good morning to you, too!

whereabouts

Several of my friends will ocassionally complain about the whereabouts of their boyfriends when they are out with friends. Mostly because they don't get updates or receive calls when they are out.

"He never calls me."
"I don't know where he is."
"When he's with his friends, I never hear from him."
"Why is he ignoring my texts?"

My answer was always, "He's with his friends. Leave them alone."

One of my pet peeves is when I'm out with my friends and their BFs call - all the time. Why are you calling? You know where she is and who she is with. It's even worse if the girls leave their phones on the table if we are out to dinner, talking and catching up. I've been known to steal a phone or two if necessary.

Put the cell phone away.

No one cares if he texts you about the make-up you left out on the counter for the fourth time. And, boys, don't be surprised if she doesn't answer her phone. Her good friends probably confiscated the device so she enjoys herself.

I don't have to be concerned with knowing where my BF is because I get days notice. He's known for sending me stupid e-mails or phone calls explaining where he'll be. Or, he concocts some elaborate story as to where he will be which is never true.

Here's what I get today from the BF.

Two things -

I will not be home tonight.

I will not be home all day on Sat 9/20 (secret male-only party)



My only rule - Just don't call me from the strip club. Call a cab to come and get you.

Mi-ya Hee, Mi-ya Ha-ha

In honor of the trainwreck that was the VMA's last night, here is my favorite video that reminded me of the duet between T.I. and Rihanna.

My friends and I found this video while were in college. It's quite hilarious and we loved playing it over and over until everyone else in the house wanted to kill us. (I was even singing my own made up foreign language version of this song last night and the BF was about to kill me. To make it even worse, I then jumped on iTunes and started blaring it while dancing around the apartment.)

For all the wannabe thugs of the world, T.I. I'm talking to you too...Just remember that you remade a song that this kid sang two years ago. Now, just how gangsta are you again?

When I Grow up

This past weekend was a whirlwind trip filled with old friends that date back to the class of 2001. A good friend from high school tied the knot, which meant one fun and interesting wedding that moved to one our local bars. Do you ever see that group of girls who can't dance but somehow take over the dance floor and the DJ? They also probably annoy the rest of the bar?? Sound familiar. Well, that was me and my friends last Saturday downtown in our hometown. I clearly have white girl syndrome when it comes to dancing. I throw my hands up in the air, try and shake my hips without looking like I have turrets. I have no rhythm and I wouldn't be good on any types of poles. Back to my story though.

So, we monopolized what you would call the dancefloor. (This bar isn't W.6th. It's clearly not a bar that has a DJ, but it's something new they must be trying and probably won't try after last weekend.) We were the group of girls dominating all the popular songs right now - Rihanna (Disturbia), Lady Gaga (Just Dance) and Pussycat Dolls (When I grow up). For some odd reason at the wedding, I tried to get my friends to imitate the dance I saw earlier that week of the Pussycat Dolls on the Today Show.

Because really..if it doesn't happen on the Today Show, does it really even count?

So, my friends thought it was hilarious at the wedding and decided to request the song again for a repeat. As you will see in the 30-seconds that you will probably wish you got back, I can't dance and no one except my friend, Steph, decides to join in. But, hey, we entertained my friends.

1st of the month

Every first couple days of the month, the BF and I have the same fight. It's not over dishes, friends, or who did or didn't vacuum. No, it's over the rent.

Our rent is due by the 5th of every month. Since we get paid on the first, I immediately write my check and tell him, "We need to pay the rent," as if he didn't know this. He likes to wait until the 3rd and almost get a late penalty because if it clears after the 5th, they charge you.

A typical conversation:
BF: Allison, it's not due until the 5th.
Me: No, BF, it's due by the 5th. Not on the 5th. By the 5th.
BF: Allison, if we get a late penalty, I'll pay it.
Me: No you wont. Just write your check on the 1st and we won't have this problem.

So, I receive a phone call today from the BF, conveniently right after I wrote my check yesterday for him.
BF: Alllison, where's my rent check?
Me: I hate you.
BF: No, really, where is it?
Me: I hate you. You know I wrote it for you yesterday.
BF: I didn't get it.
Me: I'm breaking up with you.
BF: (laughing) No, really, I didn't get.
Me: No, you really did and I'm hanging up now.

At this point, he's now laughing hysterically on the phone.

He knows just how to push my buttons.