1st of the month

Every first couple days of the month, the BF and I have the same fight. It's not over dishes, friends, or who did or didn't vacuum. No, it's over the rent.

Our rent is due by the 5th of every month. Since we get paid on the first, I immediately write my check and tell him, "We need to pay the rent," as if he didn't know this. He likes to wait until the 3rd and almost get a late penalty because if it clears after the 5th, they charge you.

A typical conversation:
BF: Allison, it's not due until the 5th.
Me: No, BF, it's due by the 5th. Not on the 5th. By the 5th.
BF: Allison, if we get a late penalty, I'll pay it.
Me: No you wont. Just write your check on the 1st and we won't have this problem.

So, I receive a phone call today from the BF, conveniently right after I wrote my check yesterday for him.
BF: Alllison, where's my rent check?
Me: I hate you.
BF: No, really, where is it?
Me: I hate you. You know I wrote it for you yesterday.
BF: I didn't get it.
Me: I'm breaking up with you.
BF: (laughing) No, really, I didn't get.
Me: No, you really did and I'm hanging up now.

At this point, he's now laughing hysterically on the phone.

He knows just how to push my buttons.