Name your deal or deal breaker.

A reader and co-worker forwarded me this article from reporter John Campanelli from the Cleveland Plain Dealer yesterday.

When we start dating someone, we all have a list of traits we absolutely won't stand for in a guy or girl. For me, I'm not into smokers, womanizers, guys with no close group of friends, a guy with no career aspirations or someone who isn't comfortable in large groups of people. Non-social guys are a big no-no in my book. They don't mix with my crowd of peeps or personality type.

In this article, it's actually refreshing to read a man's opinion and he speaks with a woman who talks about her "deal breakers." He even interviews a relationship expert weighs in on some common "deal breakers" --

"While deal-breakers vary from person to person and relationship to relationship, there are a few universal ones, says Marshall:

• When you are working harder than the other person, always making the calls, setting up the dates, fixing the problems -- deal-breaker.


• When you find yourself preoccupied with the future because the present is unbearable ("Things will be great as soon as he gets a job," "She just needs a vacation and she'll be in the mood") -- deal-breaker.

• When the other person keeps projecting or casting you in roles ("You were checking out that guy," "I know you didn't call me last night because you went to the strip club with your friends") -- deal-breaker."

So, readers, name your deal breaker(s).

Run from these men says Oprah

Typically, I post my thoughts about living together and my relationship with my own B.F. But, seeing as it's my world in this blog, I like to time off and provide my thoughts on other matters that girls encounter -- men in general. And those that we are told to run from but rarely do.

In this article from the Almighty Oprah.com, the writer highlights ten men you should run from. There's the guy who never calls, the major turn-off who is a jealous bastard, the guy who dates multiple girls at once, or even the guy who is always left by girl after girl.

Where's the bad boy category? You know, the guy who treats a girl like shit and they keep going back to them. One can only tolerate so much, yet I have had several friends who continue to go back and back to the same guy who does many of the things the Oprah article lists. Why? Are we stupid? Think we can't do better? Do we really need to make excuses for why he isn't calling us back? I have friend who dated a guy for 2 or so years, did everything for him from letting him live with her to even paying some of his bills. She's smart, pretty, focused and great at her job, but she isn't taking those attributes and focusing them on her personal life.

So, as all friends do, we listen, empathize, nod in agreement as she complains over situation. Finally, she sees the light and we think he's moved on to his next victim. Only to our amazement, she's back in his web again -- or so we think. (At this point when girls know their friends disapprove, we hide where we are going and who we are with. This alone should cause a light bulb in our heads but it doesn't.)

As a loyal friend, I'm done playing nice in the sandbox with this douche bag. He's a loser right now in his life. Sure, he's a great guy somewhere -- just not now or to her. We need to learn to draw a line and inform our friends that they are being ridiculous, and that we will no longer support their idiotic decisions to be with a guy "who is just not that into you." Besides if you're friends can't tell you you are dating a loser, then who else can?