Cinderella has left the building.

Since I've said time and time again that the B.F. is the cleaning nazi, I'm surprised he didn't tell me that last week was National Cleaning Week. I would expect him to inform me of something like that. He'd like to point out something like that to me in hopes of sparking a need to clean.

It still doesn't. Nope. Not even a little. Thank god for separate bathrooms. I don't think we'd have lasted this long. Now that's something serious that has the potential to break up a couple -- sharing a bathroom.

Cheaters still never win.

Remember the movie Waiting to Exhale? When Angela Bassett's character finds out her husband is cheating on her and in love with another woman? She grabs all of his expensive suits, shoes and anything she can grab, throws it in his car and lights it on fire. Then, she stands there with her a hair a mess and lights a cigarette. Well, most women fantasize about seeking revenge on a cheating ex but don't actually come through with it. Or, we just simply through out all memorabilia that reminds us of this person. Typical. No big deal.

Check out this article from CNN today. It summarizes a woman's initial desire to get even, but ultimately most of us don't go through with it. Although, there are some crazy bitches out there that do. Here's an excerpt from the article from a girl I suggest you don't mess with or date.

"I don't think there's anything dignified about behavior like that. And you can't take back that kind of thing," Holmes says.
Some, however, find it empowering: When Mylissa, 30, of Reno, Nevada, learned that her boyfriend had been unfaithful, she rigged his phone so calls would forward to a gay-sex hotline. She cut out the pockets of his pants. Then she sneaked into his house on a hot night, turned his radiator all the way up and super-glued the switch.
"It's OK to break up. But it's not OK to string someone along and lie," said Mylissa. "I think my ex knew he deserved everything I did to him," she argued.

Love handles

I'm a Facebook addict. I joined when it first became available at Kent State when all my friends thought I was crazy. "Why are you on that? No one is on that." Low and behold and four years later, it's popular as hell and even the business world is all about the Facebook.

In that time, Facebook has also added tons of advertising to its page. Have you noticed any ads lately? I have had several for love handles, pregnancy, marriage and even muffin tops. Seriously! Muffin tops! Can Facebook tell that I need to lose weight. Maybe they assume every 25-year-old girl has love handles and needs to get rid of those. Maybe they are even following me on Twitter?

Whatever. I'm over it.

Do you hear what I hear?

I have selective hearing. My friends love to point it out to me. Actually, they always point it out to me. When I'm talking on the phone, they can tell when I lose interest because I give short "yea's, uh-oh and oh-my's." They catch me, yell and proceed to talk but I end up forgetting what they are telling me. Unless it's pertinent to what I'm doing in the next few days, I will definitely forget it. Actually, there's a very solid possibility that I will completely forget it, tell them they never told me anything and then they can recite the exact day we talked and what we talked about. Proving me wrong once again and that I have a bad case of selective hearing.

This brings me to my latest conversation with the B.F. I don't remember exactly what we were talking about in the kitchen the other day. But, here's a preview of how it went..sort of.

Me: Asking some important question that I can't remember now.
B.F.: Answering me in a vague way.
Me: Asking some important question again because I didn't like his answer.
B.F.: Making a noise like, "Rrr. Rrr. Rrr. That is all I hear when you talk. Rrr Rrr Rrr."
Me: Baffled then laugh. "Shutup asshole."

Jealousy - that bitch

Jealousy is a bitch. It gets you when you least expect it. We've all done the big no-no's -- looked in his wallet, checked his phone, fantasized crazy stories about where he was and what was he doing. I've even known girls who memorized their BF's voicemail pin and listened to messages. (What can I say? My friends are still great though.)

OK -- enough about girls and our crazy minds. What about the men? What about their jealous nature? Girls always get the bad reputation when boys are just as bad.

Example #1:
Couple goes out to a bar. Couple separates throughout the night, mingling with new people. Boy jumps at the chance to save a damsel in distress when she's talking to a guy he doesn't know.

For those boys out there that aren't aware, just because your girlfriend is speaking with another guy doesn't mean she wants to do the horizontal mambo. Can't a girl socialize? Plus, it's extremely unattractive for a guy to run up, interrupt conversation and make his presence "known" by standing there. We came with you. We know you are here. Have some self confidence. You are going home with her.

If the guy proceeds to bother us, we were all in college, went on spring breaks and have dealt with pushy, gross guys. There's a science to this boys -- it's our girl friends. Girls have this innate ability to jump in and help one another when we are in need to get a creepster away from us.

Example #2:
A very intoxicated guy comes up to your G.F. several times throughout the night. Then, he proceeds to sit down next to both of you or stand by you and your friends.

Don't fret and don't get macho either. Introduce yourself and ask him to leave. If he's too drunk to speak or stand, this is where real savvy girls come in. By now, you've probably seen this guy fall once or twice, try the same thing with other girls or spilled his beer on you. So, you probably know who he is with. Find those guys and get this situation handled. Or, you can always try my favorite resource -- the bouncer. These guys are your friends. They will take care of drunks so you, the B.F., doesn't have to and ruin the entire night.

As a girl, a sense of protection is always appreciated. You just don't want to be known as the Mike Tyson of the group. Liquid confidence is great and empowering. Use it at your own discretion.

Screw you, Lacoste

The B.F. has two colognes. One that I bought him, Lacoste and he has this cheap other stuff from Eddie Bauer as a back up cologne I guess. Today, he walks into my office and I immediately smell the Eddie Bauer scent -- I don't like it. It reminds me of high school when every 15-18 year-old owned stock in Abercrombie and the cologne. Who didn't wear it back then? So he walks into my office and we have a little conversation. I am now dumber for participating in it.

Me: Wow. (I get a breeze of cologne.) I don't like that cologne and you have a lot on.
B.F.: It needs to last until 8 p.m. tonight.
Me: I still don't like it.
B.F. I'm well aware of that. So that's why I wore it today.
Me: You wore it even though I don't like it?
B.F: Yes, I do it on purpose because you had a temper tantrum last night.
Me: I did not have a temper tantrum. But, really, you have a great bottle of Lacoste that smells much better than that shit you are wearing.
B.F: Yes, I do and I wear that but since you were mad, I'm now wearing this one to pay you back.
Me: Wait. You do that? Why?

Editor's note --I wasn't mad so he really makes no sense at all. He says it's to keep me on my toes.

He's full of shit, that's what he is. Full of shit. Guess that's a Monday morning for you.

Things She Still Hates About You

The B.F. gets Men's Health magazine and I'm in love with it. They have some great stories written by women that I can typically relate to. As I was watching the end of American Idol last night, I was flipping through April's edition and came across this article -- 8 Things She Hates About You. I could relate to every single, I mean, every single point the writer made and I laughed pretty hard. My personal favorites are annoyance #2,3 and 5, which I've probably eluded to here and here in this blog. Here are my additional comments on my top annoyances. Feel free to share yours!

#2 You ask how much our new haircut or handbag costs...
The only reason you should be asking us these questions is if you plan on buying us a gift card to our favorite salon as a surprise present. Please don't ask so you can compare the price of your haircut to ours -- we dye, dry and style ours. We also like to pay money to continue to look good.

#3 You talk to us as if we're one of the guys.
We are not one of the guys. Do you have sex with your guy friends? No, I didn't think so. I like my last name. It's short, sweet and a lot of people refer to me by that. Every once in awhile it's OK for the B.F. to do it, but he surpasses his limit after one or two times.

#5 You stop trying.
Never stop trying because you will find yourself to be single quicker than you can say her last name. Even after living together or dating for a number of years, it's easy to become comfortable with each other and forget that lovey-dovey feeling of your first couple dates with him or her. Romance 101 boys. I'm not talking about a bouquet of lilies every day or chocolate-covered strawberries. Maybe your romantic gesture is as simple as starting dinner before she gets home, a surprise inexpensive dinner at a favorite restaurant or watching one of her top movie picks on a Friday night.